Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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