Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
