look no pants
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
