Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
