So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
