I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
