They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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