I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
