I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
