I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
