So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
