it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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