hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize