You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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