I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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