Please, let me fuck your mom
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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