She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
