The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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