She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
