Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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