Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
