Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
