Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
