I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
