I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize