I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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