Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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