her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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