dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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