You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
