I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
