gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
