I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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