Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
