don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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