Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
