This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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