whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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