Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
