You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
