I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
