our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
