Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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