Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
