My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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