Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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