College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
