Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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