I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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