Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
