every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
