I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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