I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
