no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
