just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
