you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
