I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize