i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
