I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
