This house was built for laser tag.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
