we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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