My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
