Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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