would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
