On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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