Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We just shotgunned beers for America
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
