i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
