just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
