Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
