guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
