Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
