I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
