Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
