Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
