And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
