WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize