yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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