Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
